The oppressors are everywhere around you and even the nicest and humblest people, whom we are used to communicating with every day, may show traits you have never supposed existed in a specific situation.
This phenomenon is described by Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliers: The Story of Success. Basically – a person is different depending on the context they are examined in. For instance, a businessman may be described by his employees as aggressive and uncompromising, merciless, short-tempered, and irritable. In the context of an employer, this may be true. When examined as a business partner, the counterparties may describe him as consistent, persevering, and honest, one you can place trust in, a person, who is true to their word. From the point of view of his family, this person is may be described as a loving husband, wonderful father, a person, who loves his kids, respects his neighbors, who is always smiling and never raises his tone. Yes, we are describing one and the same person, who is once called horrible, then – stable, and then – wonderful, because people know him in different contexts.
That is why we do not consider the people around us as oppressors unless we know them in the context of an emotional relationship.
If you have a partner (regardless of their gender), who exerts violence against you in one way or another, even if it seems “insignificant” at first sight, a person, who ridicules your values or is too concerned about whether you need to drink water or eat something, then you have a problem with your business. This partner (as I said – no matter what their gender is) may be a millstone around your neck and with every success you make, they may push you closer to the bottom.
In most cases, such people want to exert control over their better half. If you have your own business, a successful one, you will reach a stage when you will be confident, with high self-esteem, you would have learned how to make hard decisions, you will defend your interests, and you would wish to get the best both in your business and personal life. This terrifies people obsessed with having control over others and the fact itself that you are about to start your own business may activate your partner’s instinct of self-preservation and you may be put through a series of actions and lack of actions that will eventually bring your initiative and yourself to a failure.
This way everything will be as it was, the relationship will not break, and you will be under control again.
Although such decisions are hard to make, I advise you to consider carefully your partner’s approach towards what you are doing and if it is derogatory, humiliating, or somehow harmful – end this relationship. You should cut or restrict to the minimum your communication with all your relatives, friends, and acquaintances, who will eagerly mock your mad decision to do internet business. The same is also valid if you have decided to make a career – although it may sound strange, there are always people, who will try to discourage you from changing your job or climbing the career ladder. The result will be one and the same – you will sacrifice your own future to calm the people around you down because otherwise, your success will make them think about their own failures and what they have achieved in their lives.
It sounds extreme! I am aware that many of you will skip these lines without giving them appropriate consideration because it is not easy to confess some truths. The sooner you gain confidence in yourself and start avoiding meeting no-hopers and people, who are pushing you to the bottom (whether they are spouses, relatives, or old friends), the faster you will fire yourself to the heights and have a success.
Be bold, be persistent, while the people, who like and approve what you are doing, will respect you the way you are and find you somewhere on the road to the top and then you will realize that what you have left in the foot of the mountain is just a small sacrifice that will be compensated for multiple times when you take the steep but pleasant road to the top.